kasi gusto ko magalit. gusto ko umiyak. gusto kita kausapin para awayin. pero wala akong napapala.

YEY 2011!

This post is a day too late. BUT. I have a perfectly good reason why. I was sick for a week and I just got better. Today! Yes, today! :> Well, hopefully the fever goes away. Last time I checked my temperature was below the normal range which is at 37. I was at 36.somethings. So yay for me!

When I woke up, I really did want to go back to sleep. Since this will be the last day I will be enjoying my Christmas break. Tomorrow I shall fix my papers to get my life back on track. Actually, I will try to finish everything by today, because tomorrow I will do leg work stuff for my papers. AND I will TRY to visit the place where I can get subjects for my thesis. I am actually surprised by these plans. Hopefully I don't back out like I always do. You know why I always back out? Because I am afraid of taking public transportation in places I am not familiar with. Basically my meter's at 15kms away from my place. Just kidding. :P Since my internship for the merchandising department of a clothing line, which I have to do for school, I learned how to go to SOME places I've never been to before. :> I've actually survived weeks of traveling alone. It's not so bad. I actually enjoyed it. Except for the fact these rush-hour-ladies be smackin' yo' face if you don't move yo' ass! hahaha crazy how people get during rush hour. But enough about that.

I want to bring back my drive. I know I will. I won't promise. But I will.

PS HelloLoveabear!

Is it really that bad? Why bring me down? Why bring me down because of something that makes me genuinely happy? Am I not entitled to be happy? Seriously? CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT I HAVE DONE WRONG?



Can I just die now?

you escaped so selfishly. we may not have a lot of memories shared together, but you will be missed.

i remember the first day i saw you. long hair ka pa nun. wow lang. i knew, 1st sem crush na kita. boooooo. sobrang intimidating ka pa nun. we were one seat apart. kasi 12 lang tayo sa class! and to think na sa tabi mo pa ko umupo. ang landi ko lang talaga. :)) tapos sobrang mysterious mo. ang dami mo na kasing alam e. tapos parang sobrang close na kayo ni sir. tapos kaming mga classmates mo nagtataka kung anong batch ka ba talaga. naka white shirt ka nun e. plain. konti lang may keri sa white shirt. yun lang mga buff. e payat ka. ang artiste ng dating mo. tapos nung pinapashoot tayo ni sir kasi homework yun, naalala ko dala mo yung folding chair thingy tapos ang dami mong dala dun sa bag na green! RARRR. ano ba parang kailan lang. tapos tapos nung share share yung class sa filter, ikaw pa nagkabit nung filter dun sa camera ko. tapos nagthank you ako. tapos sabi mo no problem tapos ang cute ng smile mo nun. shet lang :(( tapos mula nun parang gusto ko na lagi makipagsmall talk sayo. tapos nagpapaturo pa ko kung maganda na ba yung pagprint ko. :( tapos naalala ko one time, nagbyebye si classmate natin na orgmate mo, tapos ikaw din tumingin tapos sabi mo, Bye Astrud. naaalala ko na pag may sasabihin ka na something laging kasama yung Astrud. minsan lang gawin ng mga tao yun kasi naaawkwardan sila sabihin yung name ko pero ikaw hindi. tapos inadd kita sa facebook tapos nalaman ko same school kayo ng mommy ko. tapos same pala tayo ng province. tapos sabi pa ni mommy pag daw break tapos nandun ka tapos nandun din kami invite daw kita sa min kahit dun ka na matulog, kahit may sarili ka namang bahay. tapos bigla mo ko chinat sa facebook chat tinatanong mo kung may alam ako makukunan ng mannequins. pero ang weird mo kasi sabi mo hindi mo alam na hindi ako film, pero bakit mo tinanong kung may alam ako makukuhanan ng mannequin. and random mo naman. ano ba yaaaaaaan. tapos naaalala ko nung hinihintay ko bestfriend ko tapos nakaupo lang ako sa bench tapos nagyoyosi kayo tapos ang cute mo kasi uma-eyecontact ka tapos ngingiti and shiz. rarrr. tapos yung wayfarers mo na red. tapos nung nagpagupit ka sinabi na sa kin yun nung isa mong classmate pero nagtangatangahan ako na hindi ko alam para lang matanong ko sayo kung nagpagupit ka kahit very obvious naman na oo. tapos napilitan pa ko bumili ng milo freeze para lang makita kita kasi ayaw mo pumasok ng lab kasi time alone ka with your yosi and stuff. tapos umaambon pa nun tumakbo pa ko kasi nahiya ako bumalik para kunin yung payong ko! tapos ayun. ang pogi mo talaga <3 <3

ewan ko. yan na lang yung mga memories na itatago ko. para masaya :)

I think I know what I want to do now. I want to leave. to Italy or Spain. :) spend lazy afternoons alone and just stare at nothingness. I'd like that.

THE List. haha kiddin
random list of 2009 things

chopped my curls, got a bob, grew it long, rebond. brainless really
MISSING HS SOOOOO MUCH :( wasn't able to hang out with them as much as i want to
Missing Bloclove <3 Lovin' 07 batch :D
Disneyland! FUN <3
got to do two things i love in one sem! b/w photography and swimming ;)
registered voter
Ondoy, Teacher Patti's death, Bad boy's death :((
finally ended the never ending story
Marathons! Series, Movies + FOODums.
Strawberry oreos + milk
10am breaks + CT people + ate bubbles' fishball stand :D
staying up late with <3
facebook :)) stalking
fangirl
make-up
ACTS, IEC, UP PR+AdS
Engineering Week
is a bit more patient than before :D
ACHENDANCE :P
Sofia Coppola
GREAT Classic Movies <3
sleepovers
movie dates
spontaneous hanging out with Kat :)
falling in LOVE :)
holding hands + fireworks <3



looking forward to 2010 :)

I AM TOO HAPPY. i can't put into words how happy i am. basta! i don't care na. no more scheming. no more getting even. no more manipulating. im done with that. this has got to be one of the happiest Christmases everrrrrr <3

ayoko na isipin kung ano yung mangyayari. bahala na :) basta! THANK YOU EVERYONE. i feel blessed to have a loving family, the best friends (!!!!), and someone :) lalala :)

isang pagbabalik tanaw sa mga pangyayari dalawang taon na ang nakalipas.

wala. yun lang. nagbalik tanaw lang ako. hindi ko na ikkwento. alam ko lang bitter ako ng sobra. noon. hahaha pero sana hindi maulit yun! masaya naman ako. at yung nag-iisang tao na gumulo sa isip ko nung panahong iyon ay nagbabalik! ewan