Astrud Q. Malvar

Reflection Part

Given the task to meet and observe a family from the lower income class is something that I would remember forever. It was my first time to have this sort of immersion unlike others who have this kind of program in their high school. I didn’t know what to expect. I know it would be kind of awkward since I thought that we were about to observe something, like some sort of lab experiment. I wasn’t sure if it was a very good idea. I’m afraid I might offend them if I tell them that we were about to study their way of living and their stands on some issues. I didn’t know how to approach in such a way that I won’t insult their current state. I was very hesitant at the beginning.

On our way to the Concepcion residence, our chosen family’s house, I was a bit uneasy. It was a very different setting from the place where I grew up in. The typical scene in our subdivision was blank and quiet. There were no people in sight; the only time neighbors would get a chance to interact is through gatherings every Christmas or during activities such as dinner parties. In Krus na Ligas, neighbors get to see each other everyday. Almost everyone knows everyone, if not by name then they would at least know a neighbor by face. I was a stranger here and I knew they were observing me. This was the feeling I wouldn’t want to give the family we were about to visit.

On our first visit, I was a bit nervous. I was like stepping on something fragile and every word had to be chosen carefully. As we got closer to Ate Cristy, the mother in our chosen family, I felt relieved and a bit more confident. She was very welcoming and she understood what we were doing. She openly discussed the history of their family and she answered our every question. I noticed that she was a bit distant at times. I think she has many things in mind. The fact that we were bringing up some issues was kind of hard because in a way, we were reminding her of the realities in life.

One thing that struck me during our conversations was the fact she shared about marriage. It sounds cliché, but marriage is not a joke. It is something to be well thought of, something to be considered over and over again. She said she has no regrets in their marriage. She however shared her experience on the long tug-of-war between the wife and the mother-in-law. She said that marrying her husband also meant marrying the family of her husband. It was a package that was predetermined. I realized that you-and-me-against-the-world is not really applicable in the Filipino family setting. In our culture where close family ties is one trait Filipinos are best known for, it is an undeniable fact that one has to learn how to treat the family of their spouse.

She said that one determinant on deciding to get married is the financial capacity of the couple. It is not all about love and happiness. It is a bond that will branch out to many categories. Next to marriage is starting a family. Which means more expenses and more sacrifices to be done. I realized that I wouldn’t want to start a family unless I know that the future is clear for my children. I want to provide them with the best quality of life. I want to be ready for it, not just financially but also emotionally, and mentally. I don’t want to have doubts whether this decision is right and if I am ready to take on this new challenge. I also want to give them my full attention. Like what Ate Cristy said, she devoted her time on her children. She said she disciplined them and thought them values that she hoped would make them good citizens. I would love to do the same for my future family. I wouldn’t want to sacrifice quality time for my children just to make money for us to get by. I want to teach them things that should be thought at home such as values and manners.

Ate Cristy stressed on how important education is for their family. She said that it is a long term investment that would at least provide a better future for their children. All sacrifices are for them and their education. I realized how ungrateful I am before for having to spend my time studying. I was anxious to get out of school and get a job. Ate Cristy told us that finishing a degree would mean a lot once we enter the real world. Although sometimes the degree we finished may not be related to the job we find, the knowledge and experience gained during our stay in the university will be of great help.

Due to intense competition in finding a job, Ate Cristy learned to make money through contractual jobs and selling recyclable materials such as plastic bottles and old newspapers. The money she earns from these activities may not be enough to get them through each day, but it will be a big help. Filipinos are definitely madiskarte. I realized how important it is to have perseverance. I admire her for having the determination and not giving up. Some people may lose hope instantly at the thought of poverty. In her case, she was optimistic to move on and do what she can while she can. I want to have that kind of outlook in life. There are times that I feel like giving up because of trials. I realized how small and superficial my problems are compared to hers.

The family learning experience personally struck me and opened my eyes to the real world. There are many realizations and lessons this activity has given me. I was exposed to the current condition of our economy. Poverty is an issue that should be resolved as soon as possible. It is visible that there are more people in these kinds of community than in private subdivisions which mean that there are more people below the poverty line. Aside from this, there are many personal lessons that were imparted. These are some things that I would treasure and use forever.

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at syempre pinost ko.
oo na loser na ko. hehehe