Dreamin' by Shihan



I tend to drive myself crazy in her car
with a love that doesn't stop for red lights
And I wonder should we even think about slowing down
and I hope she doesn't get bored of me
I wish I knew everything she kinda wanted to know but didn't want to ask
just so I wouldn't be so scared
See under my breath I've inhaled more I Love You's then she will ever know
But somehow I think she's always known
Leaving my stomach filled with swallowed second guesses and wishful thinking
thought I'd even start to question the reasons for trying to say them at all
and shoot, with all the words I swallowed
it's no wonder I start to choke up everytime I think about them
I wonder if me choking means they'll never make it out
So I damn the dam I built to hold back the words I wish to say
like the night at Denny's when the waitress asked us if we were in love
cause we had this glow around us and I responded 'yeah, but she's in denial.'
'and that glow you talk about isn't even a glow it's actually a force field that keeps us from letting our true feelings out and protects us from ourselves we wish to be vulnerable.'
like what would be so wrong with me stealing your heart if I took you with it and
stole you for a lifetime
and let you play my permanent sunshine cause you're the reason I don't fear blank sheets of paper anymore
My inspiration has me floating my feet don't ever touch the ground
but she is still out of my reach
and it's strange that she could be right there in front of me
making me happy
but the thought of her
being interrupted by another thought of her
only makes me happier
and it's scary
that if God is the author of all I write
then, it would only make sense that I fear words written by the 2 things in life I fear never getting to know

God and Love

and a further fear of you getting added to the list of God and Love
as now the 3 things in life I fear never getting to know...
I was told I died for love in a past life and maybe that's why I'm so scared of it now
and it's scary I woke up at 540 this morning to write this down
but another tear meets my shirt and another weight has been lifted off my chest
and I can go back to sleep...for now...I dream


<3